Čo mi pomohlo, keď, 2005, pohľad na inštaláciu
What helped me when. 2005, View of the installation
Čo mi pomohlo, keď...
V tomto projekte ide o jeden z mojich najodvážnejších autoportrétov. Divákovi v ňom odhaľujem svoje najosobnejšie problémy a zároveň načrtávam spôsoby akejsi osobnej terapie, ktoré zvyknem aplikovať v rámci ich riešenia, veľmi pragmaticky definované vo forme tabuľky. Z môjho pohľadu ide o najintímnejšie problémy, s akými sa potýkam. Tým, že dané témy prezentujem otvorene, sa ich do istej miery zbavujem a oslobodzujem sa od nich. Čím viac ľudí o mojich slabinách vie, tým menej som z duchovného hľadiska zraniteľný a s pomocou okolia môžem svoje ťažkosti vyriešiť. Zámerom diela je dopriať divákovi možnosť prežiť spolu so mnou pocit, že zásadné problémy sa dajú riešiť, a umožniť mu zobrať si z galérie aj iný, než len vizuálny zážitok. Či už radu do života alebo stotožnenie sa s mojím problémom a jeho riešením.What helped me when...
This project deals with one of my most courageous self-portraits. Here, I reveal my most personal problems to a viewer, and at the same time, I outline the ways of my personal therapy that I usually apply to sort them out, whilst these ways are defined very pragmatically in the form of a table. From my point of view, these are the most intimate problems I have encountered. By openly presenting these topics I shake them off to some extent and free myself. The more people know about my weaknesses, the less vulnerable I become spiritually, and with the help of people around me I can solve my problems. The aim of my artwork is to grant viewers a possibility to share with me the feeling that important problems can be solved and allow them to leave the gallery with another experience on top of the visual one. Whether it is my practical advice, or their identification with my problem and its solution.
When I have a clash with someone, this is what helps me:
realizing that there’re not many things that could help me
inhaling deeply and not boosting the tension
think back on something pleasant
not attacking the rival physically, not trashing things
remember extreme conflicts and try to calm down
leave immediately, if it’s possible
to make up the fight afterwards, if it’s possible
When I don’t believe in myself and have doubts about my art, this is what helps me:
realizing that from the higher perspective there’s nothing relevant on this
I try not to push myself into creating
I confont my ideas with friends
I’ll rather cancel the exhibition than go to it without trusting the project
I try to have my heart open to subtile signs
I ignore doubts, that everything was already made!
I try to remember how many shit I’ve already seen
I communicate with God
When I’m scared of financial insecurity, this is what helps me:
I try to pay for everyone
I do not concentrate on tomorrow
I let it on Higher Powers, I meditate
I try to be happy with what I have got
I lessen my costs and leave out delights
I give money to beggars, I leave tips
I tell myself - no one can die of hunger
When I’m in deppression, this is what helps me:
sex or masturbation
sports, swimming, running, walking - in the woods at best
contemplation and meditation about my state
accepting the state, looking for the reason of it
good food, little delights – movies + popcorn
communication with a woman or friends
tidying up old photographs
When I wanted to dispose of addiction, this is what helped me:
start abstaining from all drugs and alcohol
defer to doctor’s ordination and advice of proffesionals
I started to run and exercise
I stopped going to old places and meeting old friends
I gave myself some time
I used self-punishments
I prayed a lot and meditated
I appointed an exact daily schedule
quit relationships with women
I meet abstainers regularly
When my girlfriend left me, this is what had helped me:
I stopped contacting her
I started doing sports
I masturbated a lot
I hit on every woman I met
I was looking for a close girlfriend
I told everyone about it
I prayed a lot and meditated
I detracted her
I wrote an inventory about my past relationships
I was embracing Okiome